Sunday, September 18, 2011

It’s not you, It’s me

It is hard to be criticized, especially by the ones you love.  But it is even harder to admit to ourselves that WE may be the one with an issue.  Sometimes you get to a point where you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, what you are doing and whom you have hurt.  You begin to fall into this pattern, and put yourself in the frame of reference that, maybe it’s fixable-this issue you’re having in your relationship(s).  But, time and time again you speak and act without thinking about the full repercussions your actions will have.

I am writing you today to say that, while the line “it’s not you, it’s me” is so cliché it quite possibly could be true.  As you begin to take a step back from everything, and begin to really look at yourself there are a lot of issues that may come to light.  And then, the ah ha moment!  Coming to the realization that-it’s not you-it’s me.

Sometimes it takes that fall, a very hard fall to get us back on the right track to self-preservation.  During this “stepping back period” it’s important to think only about yourself, and the role you have played in your relationships with loved ones, friends and family members. 

What is the common thread?  By finding this thread, you are then able to more easily pinpoint what your issue may be-and again, the ah-ha of your entire life and your role in any relationship suddenly makes sense.

After personally experiencing my own moment of enlightenment, this is where it gets exciting, the turning point.  I feel so much more positive in repairing the relationships that, over the months or years have become very worn down.  I do realize that it will take some time to hone in these new relationship tools-but I am still excited about the journey of making my relationships stronger. 

To be honest with you admittance and acceptance were for me, the hardest part of this process thus far.  I was the one that, for years blamed my actions on circumstances that I believed to be true.  I never had the time or the patience to sit down, and try and figure this entire issue out.  It never occurred to me to think about those threads, and ultimately see how my reactions to certain situations were not fair.  It’s not you, it’s me and I am so excited to see where this recent epiphany will guide my relationships.

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